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My former husband died,
suddenly, in 2002. My children were then 21, 19 and 15. As he
had been around for the eldest twos 18th birthday, I wanted my
youngest to have something from his father for his 18th, so, I
set about making my son's dream come true and prayed to God
that 'we' could pull it off. I won't drag this story out, but,
the anniversary of his death, it all came together! My son had
the best 18th birthday present ever and I told him it was made
possible because of his dad and a lot of praying to God.
I truly believe in Him and
trust that whatever He decides, is always right for me.
J.H.
There
is a story I wanted to share about faith, hope and love,
and courage.
I did not have a good relationship
with my mother growing up. For a lot of you that is no
surprise because I have shared my story many times.
My mother got really sick in 1999,
and I tried to come to terms with my life, and why I was
treated the way I was. I went to her one day, (after I
attended a fireside given by Merrill) here in the
Detroit area, and told her that I forgave her for the
past and hoped that we can have a close relationship in
the future. That was the day we became friends, and
that bond would never be broken.
She was feeling pretty good, albeit
on oxygen 24/7 and an umpteen amount of drugs to keep
her alive, Merrill's Utah GT was about to happen. This
was July 2004. My mom had a relapse and we thought she
wasn't going to make it. I had to wrestle with the idea
of going to the GT, or not. My sisters thought I should
stay home, my husband and friends told me to go. There
was really nothing I could do, so I may as well go to
the GT so I could get my mind on better things. It was
hard to leave my sick mother, but I decided to go. I
could be home in a few hours if something drastic
happened. My mother also told me to go. I was full of
guilt for leaving, but I went anyway.
Before the GT, my friend Mary and I
went site seeing. We went to the LDS Visitors Center in
Salt Lake City. What a beautiful place that is. We
even got to hear the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sing. We
went up stairs in the Visitors Center where there is
this huge statue of Jesus. I cried when I saw him, and
sat right in front of him and prayed for my mother. I
told him that I wanted her to get better, and didn't
want her to die. I told him that I was sorry for
everything I put her through and did not want her to
suffer this fate. I knew she was at death's door
because I could feel it in her voice. She couldn't
walk, eat and could barely speak. After I left the
statue of Jesus, I felt a warm sensation run through my
body. I can't explain it, but that is the best I can
describe this feeling.
The next day, I met up with friends
in Park City and I decided to call my mother to see how
she was doing. To my surprise she answered the phone,
and sounded alive…better than she had in months. I was
shocked to say the least. I could barely speak now, and
was overcome by tears of happiness. I could not believe
it. This did not sound like the same woman I left a few
days earlier.
So, I not only was able to enjoy
myself at Merrill's GT, but I knew she would be fine, at
least until I got home. I could feel it. She told me
that she loved me, and to have a great time.
She did finally pass away on February
26, 2005, but now I have a sense of peace, and I know
that everything will be okay. I am so happy that we
made our amends, and that I was at the LDS Visitor
Center that day. Because without my little prayer, I
believe she would have been gone when I returned. God
gave her to me a little longer so that we could make up
for our lost past, and we did. I thank God everyday for
that.
However, if it wasn't for Merrill and
his talk on forgiveness at the Fireside, I think we
would have been estranged until the day she died. Thank
you Merrill for giving me the strength and courage to
find my mother's love…and the love that I have yearned
for my entire life.
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My story of faith is something I would never
have dreamt happen to me. I have edited this to bare bones, I
could write volumes!
It amazes me how God works in your life. One Sunday I was
watching a football game on TV with my husband & someone held up
a sign with John 3:16 written on it. I had always wondered what
that meant so I found a little bible & struggled to figure out
how to look it up as I have never opened a bible before nor been
to church. It was very interesting to read so I continued
reading the rest of the chapter. Hmm, very interesting. My mom
had a friend that was starting a bible study so I went to make
her happy thinking they were probably a bunch of Jesus freaks &
would never be anything I would really do again.
This was a simple study that started answering some of my
questions. So at that point I became almost obsessed with the
bible for a reason I would know later. I joined & stayed 7 yrs
in another very deep almost collegiate level bible study group.
I had no idea why I was doing this. I shared everything I
learned with anyone that would listen (still do) it became as if
I couldn’t live without studying & knowing everything, constant
searching for something & felt like I had a limited time frame
to do this. Little did I know why this was happening.
My oldest son had gotten to be a senior in high school in 2000 &
was becoming wayward. Finally it all came to an ugly end one
night & he left home. I truly believe I had a nervous breakdown
at that point in my life. My world collapsed, he was doing drugs
& who knows what else, not my dreams for my son. But I had to
learn to let him go, I hung onto my Rock of faith.
I hadn’t heard from him for 4 yrs till one fateful day I got the
phone call every mother fears. He had been in a serious accident
come to the hospital. He was hit in the passenger door of his
car & was sent head-on into a light post, the other driver had
ran a red light, they had to cut him out of the car. He was on
the table with a backboard & neck brace & they were saying his
back could be broken.
At that point that room & all around me made a whooshing noise
in my head like a very black hole had opened up but the first
thing I could think of was PRAY. I thought back later that Satan
was trying to give me fear & worry but since I was so strong in
knowing God from His word I did only what I could think of,
bring Light into my mind. So I tried to pray, a major battle was
going on spiritually over what I should be doing, part of me
wanted to yell at the doctors for not doing enough in the
emergency room, so slow. Then the other part of me said “be
patient, lean on me”. I chose the latter. So I took the first
step of faith, I stepped out in the hallway & as the bible says
the Holy Spirit (some say Holy Ghost) will groan for you to God
when you have no words to pray, that is what I did. I had no
words at all. I never cried which I thought was odd as I am
pretty emotional normally. I had a great peace & warmth come
over me & then a nurse came by & it was a lady that goes to the
church I had been visiting. She hugged me & said she would keep
me informed of his condition constantly. An angel in a nurse’s
uniform as I never saw her again at church.
Earlier before the accident, I had planned a birthday trip to
Branson to see the Osmonds & they scheduled his operation on my
birthday. I called the theater from the ICU waiting room to
cancel & they put me on hold & the song ‘Let me in’ came on,
that is when the floodgates opened for me. A great hug from
above that all would be well.
He ended up having rods & screws in his lower back & will never
bend over again but thankfully he was fine. There has been so
many blessings in this horrific time in our lives that I don’t
know where to start!
I feel that if I had not been in God’s word so deeply knowing
all the pain, suffering, & heartache of those people in the
bible & all they had gone through, but God was always there for
the faithful ones that believed Him, not just believed in Him. I
knew I would have not made it through this dark valley of
despair and anguish without knowing this. My Father in heaven
knew my son was leaving me & the accident was coming & was
giving me His strength to get through it all. I feel God gave us
His word for a reason to teach us in good & bad times & I will
never turn my back on what He has to say to me through
it. Knowing full well that my Father in heaven was sending me
people, words, music & past knowledge of His deep love for me &
my little family of 4. Having a truly contrite spirit & broken
heart brought me closer to the One who loves me more than I can
imagine. Even today nothing is more important than my
alone time with my scriptures so I can listen to that small
Voice ready for the next chapter or challenge in my life. I will
endure & survive all that comes my way with peace of mind that
He is there for me always.
~Julie R
Hi Merrill, I would just like to tell you
this story of how people let you know they will be ok. My MOM
died on May 17, 2005 and all the people came to say their
goodbyes of course even my sister came up. On the day of the
wake my sister, Barbara told me that my brother-in-law wanted to
get a rose to put in my Moms hand to take with her. On that day
Barbara and my grandma saw the rose open up right in her hand
because when we bought it it was closed. We think it is her
trying to tell us she will be fine when she goes to see the
heavenly father and for us not to worry. Sincerely, Kristine
Merrill, I am an 8 1/2 year ovarian cancer survivor. The doctors originally
told me that I had, well, at BEST 5 years, probably more like 2 or
3 years. I must say, I've been through hell and back again,
what with the chemo and such. Two years ago, while on vacation, I
stopped speaking and took little interest in anything but
sleeping. My husband got me back to the states and, over the
reluctance of MDs to do tests on my brain (supposedly ovarian
cancer never goes there) they tested it. I had a 4 cm tumor in my
brain, in addition to 3 others. This was removed, but no one
expected me to come out knowing who I was. My church prayed.
Father in Heaven must think I have more work to do. I am fine now
and back to my Family History volunteering. I also do research for
many other people.
Anyway, when I could not pray, others did, and I am very fortunate
they did.
~ Sue
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